Men'Do's Travel Stories & Advice Column, Vol. #2

Welcome to Men'Do's Travel Stories & Advice Column where one of Tamriel's most famous (or perhaps infamous) adventuring Khajiit, Men'Do, shares stories of his travels and offers words of wisdom. In our second volume, Men'Do discusses the mysteries of Skyshards, Tamrielic cultural differences, and more!

Men'Do first started sharing his wisdom on the ESO Subreddit some moons ago. There were so many requests from all around Tamriel for more of the charming and enigmatic Khajiit that we were happy to oblige. (This is a fan-written column that we will publish every couple weeks on elderscrollsonline.com.)

Hello again, my friends! Men'Do ended up traveling the dangerous paths of Cyrodiil, for the curious. Very risky! Also very fun, however, as there are ample opportunities to test your mettle against the metal of countless adversaries. Maybe you do this also in your spare time? Khajiit would love to hear about it. While traveling, he heard rumor that armies are sneaking about through sewers that lead from the Imperial City right under Lake Rumare! This sounds gross, dangerous, and improbable, but might be worth investigating. He will update you later if anything comes of it, though it may be hard to find courier willing to travel such a path. No more of this talk. On with important questions!

Remora Akari asks "Hello Men'Do!

I've heard rumor among the Altmer of strange stones from the sky that grant the one who finds them power. Have you encountered any of said stones, and have you any tips for finding the more hidden ones?

I would be most graced with a reply."

Oh yes, so many things fall from sky these days! Stones, anchors, sometimes even Khajiit, but stone is probably most useful to you right now. Men'Do has found so many that he almost does not know what to do with them! They are very heavy, however. Ended up having to put them back where he found them (or close enough to where he found them.) Best not to be a greedy cat and let others experience the joy of discovery as well!

This one has recently learned that there are actually whole societies dedicated to finding such rare treasures and mantling their power. Some have even made maps of their locations, but please to be careful! If you enjoy the thrill of the hunt, it is better to avoid maps and explore on hints and hearsay alone! If you seek only further clues, look always in the tallest towers and deepest spaces. Keep your gaze focused and your whiskers bristled, and you will surely achieve greatness! And do not be afraid to do a little violence in order to fully reach your goal. Or a lot of violence. Some of the trickiest lie not in the safety of your hometown, but behind the very gates of your enemy!

gladys410 asks "Hello Men'Do, you have recently come to the attention of my Order as a Khajiit who's connection to the sugar that is stronger than most. Your column presents a unique opportunity to study this phenomenon. There are a few questions about yourself that could help with our observations if you would be so inclined. What breed of Khajiit are you? When did you first partake of the sugar? How often do you partake of the sugar? Bi-weekly we assume?

-Benefactor of the Psijic Order"

Oh, silly ja'Khajiit, you must be joking! Waiting whole two weeks before taking the Sugar? Men'Do would find it sacrilegious to go more than two days! No, this is very foolish, but Men'Do forgives.

This one was born Cathay...or possible Cathay-raht. It hard to find precise details about the date and the state of the dance at that moment. Let us say the circumstances of Men'Do's birth were..."iffy." This one takes his Sugar often, usually twice a day, but he is not so ritualized as to use certain times and meals. Many Khajiit do not take it so frequently, but some others take it even more, so there is nothing very special about Men'Do's habits in this regard. Still, he hopes this information is useful in whatever thing you are studying! Strange you would rely on inferences from what Men'Do says instead of ask questions about the Sugar directly, but surely it is the case that academic type is the "expert" on such matters, and not Khajiit who uses all the time.

urkrtheorcwarchief asks "My name is Urkro gro-Bogmack. I have to ask how do Khajiiti people deal with all that fur? Us Orcs don't need such things for the hot blood of battle always runs through our veins, but why keep fur even when warm? It makes as much sense as inviting Molag Bal over for food and drink"

Ah...fur is not here for warmth, friend Orsimer. You know we live in deserts and hot places, mostly, yes? Fur was put on cat for beauty! Well, put on most Khajiit, in any of the cases. Ohmes do not wear this, but they have their own special beauty all the same! Like littler, more handsome Bosmer. So yes, it is good that Orc do not wear fur. It was not meant for you! This one knows that many of you can still be quite hairy, of course, and this doubtless adds to rugged charm meant for your kind, yes? You keep this, we keep fur, and each is very happy to be themselves!

winterforge Imperial asks "What is the Khajiit fascination with dark moons?"

Dark moons are no fascination, but portents of evil! Please to note that this is different notion than Jone and Jode's normal dance. While each waxes and wanes in its own turn, imagine instead that they waned...waned...waned...gone! Forever! To dance on moonless nights is fine, but for each night to be without their light is stumbling and folly. Imagine the light finally re-emerging (as it always does, no matter how dire the shadow), and illuminating the degradations of those who have gone so long fumbling about in the dark. Even those who practice the most enlightened motions might find their stances crooked and their dances bent.

Ultraswamp Khajiit asks "Why do the humans insist on calling his people 'Cat Men?' This makes no sense. We do not walk on four legs and rub against them, begging for food. This one thinks he will begin calling them 'Monkey Men.'"

That is highly recommended course of action, yes. Probably this stems from either deep ignorance or purposeful agitation! Better to smoothly counter with five-clawed wit than be socially outmaneuvered by silly human. They do not even see how foolish it is to assume their shape is "default," only adding on adjectives and qualifications when encountering something outside their experience.

Men'Do wonders if the Daedra or other spirits look at mortals in the same manner. Many mortals think such beings look "humanoid" (another word born of pretentiousfulness!), but probably it is more accurate to say that we look like them. Are they not the ones who took on these first shapes? Wait, this one should capitalize that, "First Shapes." There, now he is just like wise and influential human academic! He will make a tower out of sand, dribbled high from the mud of Topal Bay, and shout scholarly decrees for all to hear! One moment, Men'Do must begin his dissertation on the feeble socialization habits of the people he calls as "Ape-jiit."

Anywho, this one actually recently finished reading a book along this line of thinking. Have you ever seen a copy of An Orc's Guide to Tamriel? It is written from similar perspective that Imperials use when looking out their windows, but instead how Orc might see the rest of the world. It is delightfully subversive, and highly recommended.

superconductivity asks "What is the best way to free oneself from moonsugar addiction?"

This depends on many things. If you are Khajiit, or their treasured friend who is allowed to partake (and accustomed to its influence), simple admonition by Moon Bishop should be enough to sway the behavior of a wayward cat. After all, its effects are mild among our kind, and overindulgence rare. If instead you are the stealing outsider, probably you don't know how much to have, and deserve the consequences of your foul deeds!

But Men'Do has mercy on you, and gives you some pointers. It is much like addiction to skooma: willpower alone is not enough!! Do not believe books like Confessions of a Dunmer Skooma-Eater, nor any of their cheap knockoffs. They make good point that addiction has root in failure of self-efficacy (and not evil-in-heart that moralists insist upon), but in the end are merely reduced to Dunmer propaganda aimed at justifying the continued slave-state of Khajiit.

Instead, structural changes must be made! You must flee the environments that enable your addiction, whether it be friends who deal in the substance, or living in an area where it is freely available, and the like. You cannot expect to have food put in your mouth and forever resist the urge to swallow! You must also seek out "protective factor," which is pretty much any behavior or situation that guards against bad habits. Maybe you take up a book club, or join a guild, or local sport team! Nothing keeps your paws clean like an exhausting game of waggersnatch with the neighbors. Simply put, fill your time with good things so that there is no time left for bad!

Road of recovery is long, winding, and frequently loops back on itself, but Men'Do believes in you. He only hopes that you also believe in you. And that you find others, close to where you live and close to your heart, who believes in you.

JackHades Bosmer asks "Well done on reaching high places Men'Do!

I am in a relationship with a fine Nord woman. Unorthodox, I know, considering I am of the Bosmer race. Nevertheless, I am deeply in love.

However I suspect this woman of mine is betraying my love for a Khajiit. I know both Bosmer and Khajiit are not always considered the most openly honest peoples but I have heard stories, Men'Do. I have heard of Khajiits wooing young ladies, even locking some away if they do not fall to their charms!

This and the fact my beloved is partial to moonsugar trouble me greatly. But what to do? Perhaps I could talk to the Khajiit? Or would a word with the guard or poison suffice? Perhaps I could even turn him into my thrall and have him leave for good if I were careful enough so as to not alert the townsfolk of my nightly activities.

Please offer me your famed advice, Men'Do, for I need it immensely."

First, Men'Do clears up this terrible lie you have been told about Khajiit locking away would-be lovers! No kitten who wishes to keep their teeth would even dare discuss such things. None who wish to keep their skin would ever try. Only notable exception is one of Rajhin's Shadows, but that is a tale you must discover for yourself! Suffice to say, sometimes one's shadow does terrible things. Even when writing stories about beloved god-heroes, you must tell of these evil things along with the good, or you are a bigger liar and thief than all cats accused combined!

Anywho, to your specific matter, you must first not worry that your love enjoys moonsugar. That is no sign of betrayal, only good taste. Second, guards cannot help you in affairs of the heart, though they may be helpful in affairs of the loins, but that sounds like it is exacerbation of the problem, not solving it. Third, No! Killing! Or however thralling do! That will get you all the wrong kinds of attention from guard.

Best advice is simply to talk! Talk with your lover. Ask if there is another. Maybe be more interesting so there is no risk to begin with! Also, if there is another, see if it is easier just to share. Many Khajiit are open-minded about such things. Imagine the fun you could have with two lovers!

Okay, no more questions tonight! This one is pretty sure he heard a heavy gate unlatch from down by the waterfront. Maybe it is just another bandit cellar, but maybe it is something more dreadful and inviting! Let it never be said that Men'Do is one to leave his curiosity unsatisfied. Farewell for now!

We hope you enjoyed the latest volume of Men'Do's Travel Stories & Advice Column! If you have a question or request for advice from Men'Do, look for his threads on our official forums and the ESOTU subreddit. We'll see you in a couple weeks for the next installment!

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